Her…
by H3T3R1C4
Summary: Prompt: Illusion. Was that all she was? I thought she was there, but then she wasn't; she was there where she wasn't before. Either I'm losing my mind...or she was never there at all. Challenge for ImagineClan's 1st anniversary!


Prompt: _Illusion, Was that all she was? I thought she was there, but then she wasn't; she was there where she wasn't before. Either I'm losing my mind...or she was never there at all._

As I was walking through the fields, I saw Sandstorm catch up to me. She was there. I felt my heart pound, and as we came closer I smelled the nervousness. She was going to ask me that question… that I had been wanting to ask her.

I whispered "yes, I do want to be your mate!"

As we came closer to share tongues, I heard a loud beeping. Almost as if… and then I slammed that damn snooze button to hell. It doesn't work. So here I am, William Vanderlaan, still in my pajamas.

I feel my heart rate slow as I try to remember her. She… was perfect. It was all a dream. It was all a lie. A damn cold lie. I punch my dresser. I already have enough problems. I can't kick a ball, I'm getting C's and I'm a cutter. I cry so hard that my mother comes down and comforts me. I tell her about Sandstorm, and she looks at me strange. She doesn't understand.

I get changed and get on the bus.

While on the bus, Dennis, the school asshole, comes up and says "hey, Vanderlaan, got balls yet?"

He smirks like it's real funny. I punch him. Just because I can't kick doesn't mean I don't have good working hands. I punch him again in the eye. I hear the juice in his eyeball explode out. The ambulances come. They take him away. When I see that eye socket- empty, battered, bruised, I think of Lostface. Her name should've been Brightheart. I shake the feeling off as we get to school.

At school, I remember that I forgot my English homework. As I rush to class, I see Mr. Barry. I die a little more inside. He looks at me with curiosity. Then he asks for my homework. I embarrassedly tell him I forgot it.

"In class we are reading a new book, 'Warriors: Into the Wild' by Erin Hunter." He says.

As he passes it out, I see… BLUESTAR? No, it can't be. As I read ahead, I find the whole story, with her. I'm reading about Sandstorm… this book… but how could a twoleg… know?

The teacher tell us that a report is due on a summary of the book by tomorrow. Easy for me. All I have to do is find where it ends and start from the beginning! As I walk out of class, though, my good feelings die. _Illusion… Was that all she was? I thought she was there, but then she wasn't; she was there where she wasn't before. Either I'm losing my mind...or she was never there at all._

I loved her, and now I can't get her back. Telling about the real me won't help. They won't understand. I slug through the rest of the day, glum, more than usual.

I think to myself "I need to get her back, if I don't, then I'd gladly spend the rest of my days in hell."

So, I decide something crazy. As I get home, I tell my mother I've got homework to do, that this matters for my whole life. Shocked at my newfound interest in grades, of course she lets me into the privacy of my room. I get a rope for my "project", and swing it around the fan. As my throat cracks in half, I see my mother in the door. She has tears in her eyes.

How could I be so blind. I hurt… my mother. She was more important than Sandstorm. Any day, she was. I regain consciousness one last time. Two mothers, crying, one mine, one Dennis'. Both see their sons being covered with cloth…

As I wake, I find myself in the medicine cat's den. "Fireheart", Cinderpelt says, "you collapsed in the field." Sandstorm ran to get help. I realize then, that neither of my lives were dreams. Both are real, and connected. I'm not messing this one up.

I live for my mothers, both mourning for their son, both love me, both who I live for. If I'm going to be the deputy, even the leader, I'll need to pull myself together. So, I get up, knowing I failed one and got another chance. I'll make the very best of it.

As I look at Cinderpelt again, I wonder, could she be… I shake the thought off. Maybe it was a coincidence than Erin made the book, then again, if I can, why can't she?


End file.
